I am at the rock bottom.

So I'm from Indian and I come from a middle class family and I had always been a good student, and spent my 9th and 10th in lockdown. My grades went downhill and I hit a lowkey random depression phase back then but I recovered a bit for my boards. So it was still alright.Back then I loved a girl who didn't love me back, so it was hard but I got over it.So after my 10th, I wanted to study psychology as I was in love with that subject, but in India studying subjects like psychology are risky as there are not much job prospects but I still wanted to study it. I brought the prospect forward but my parents gave my a choice of either engineering or medical. I tried a lot to bend them, but didn't work. I liked studying physics so I went ahead with it, engineering atleast. They forced me to apply for both engineering and medical and didn't even let me take computer as my side subject. I was then forced to sit for the craziest competitive exams in India, Jee and Neet, where around 1.5m and 2.1m people sit for it and 20k get selected. I kinda knew I wasn't meant for it but I still tried it, couldn't crack it after my 12th even though I tried. Took a year drop so that I can give it a try again, as I had no other option given to me. Somehow I got my first actual girlfriend in that time who was a little out of my league, but I associated her with everything I did in my life and all of my life's secrets, it went well for a few months and we declared each other as The One, then her ex came back trying to get her back and fluctuations started and eventually lead to a break-up as she realised she wasn't ready for something serious and shit. My drop year was destroyed cuz of this, and I still had a few months to make up for it. I was still devastated, and I was still coping from it, I still am. Then I started doubting that my best friend of 8 years (whom I used to talk with for hours everyday and was almost a part of their family) started a casual relationship with her or something as there were signs. So I confronted him after a month and he confessed that a week later they started dating for a serious relationship when he knew what I was going through and that he was compassionate enough to not let me know then so that I can cope up with it after some time had passed. He knew how much I love her and what I was going through right then.. He said that you can always get back with your friends but you can't get back with a girl you've lost. I just don't know what to do as I lost the 2 most important people I had in my life and they both lied to me. Now my drop year is at it's end and I haven't prepared much, my parents are you emotionally torturing me everyday that I was a failure and I shouldn't be born and stuff.. and I have nobody to talk to. I'm losing the will to live, please help me.. I've never been emotionally strong, so I don't know what to do..I have thoughts about killing myself..