AITK for suggesting I compensate my wife’s parents for wedding expenses

My wife’s parents spent nearly 40 lakhs on our wedding. By comparison, my parents spent only 2 lakhs. My wife feels this was due to my parents trickery. She also mentioned that this has caused her parents financial stress.

This topic often gets discussed whenever we have any back and forth on home finances. Recently, I started feeling that it is similar to dowry. I want to now return at least half the money by taking a personal loan, and return the gifts and jewellery.

My wife says that this suggestion is insulting. However, I feel this issue is causing a lot of resentment in her towards me and my family. It’s also tough to take the accusations and sometimes insults, which is becoming an almost monthly affair now.

AITK for suggesting this as a resolution.

Edit: Honestly, seems like a shit situation, but I guess what someone said about making it up through gifts over a period of time makes the most sense.

Also, just to add more context

• Why we spent 2L? We shifted to a smaller venue because during this was during Omicron, and a lot of our guests cancelled. There were two deaths in the family as well. Hence, we shifted to a smaller venue.

• I’ve always been against an extravagant wedding, but my wife wanted one. Here I do feel we were wrong in not giving a huge reception. I tried to make it up by contributing some more golden ornaments as gifts

• Reason for posting this is it has been 3 years. I have apologised for our lower spend every time she brings it up, but I feel it has gone to a place where some resentment is creeping in. Thought there could be a simpler solution.