Netherlands rematch, unhappy with hf
Hi all au pairs! I have been with my current Dutch host family since January and have been struggling to enjoy the experience, but I don't know if I had unrealistic expectations of what it means to be an au pair, so here are some things and please let me know if I am right to want a rematch:
- I don't live with them. I live in a room on the top floor of the apartment building they're in as well.
- I only eat with them 2 nights a week when I make dinner. I eat almost all my meals by myself in my room. I get 50€ a week for all food and groceries, including spices, oil, everything. Breakfast lunch and dinner, snacks, except for the 2 dinners a week I eat with them.
- I am expected to be able to finish all the kids laundry (2 boys and a baby), their bedding, baby clothes with 3 different types and each with their own wash cycle type, in a morning. Has to be washed, dryed (without the dryer, only allowed for bedding), and packed and folded by end of the day.
- The mom asked me to vacuum her chairs to clean them, dust and clean the top of the cupboards in all rooms, on top of the book racks, I shoveled their balcony clean on my hands and knees to get the dust, spiders and leaves in a trash bag, and I suspect she really wants me to wash the windows as well at some point. In the au pair manual I was given it listed chores we're allowed to do and not, but it wasn't very clear but I feel some things aren't considered light chores.
- They haven't put me in a language course even though I've asked about it. They expect me to learn it on my own, and I am only allowed to speak Dutch to the kids.
- They only want me around when I'm working. When I'm finished I have to go to my room and sit alone and drown myself in Netflix or something.
- They have only asked me questions about myself 4/5 times. I've only had "chats" with them to get to know them maybe 6 times and I've been here 5 months. They don't seem interested in who I am as a person at all.
- There are many more subtle things they do and say that make me feel like nothing more than a body to work for them, not a human being who's moved across the world to be part of their home life.
Are au pairs no more than nannies and butlers? I thought this was to be more than that, to be a part of the family. I have tried to hold out, change myself to accept the circumstances, but I will always be unhappy here. Am I being unreasonable? Is a rematch worth the risk and effort?