What makes BPD so addictive - the crazy trauma bond, and deep down they're not bad people.

I think this is the hardest thing about him that keeps me so hooked and addicted. Unlike my narcissistic ex, who was deep down genuinely NOT a good person with a good heart in any way, I feel that most pwBDP are not inherently bad people. While everyone's different, most pwBPD do have a good heart, deep down, beneath all the utter insanity and abusive behaviors. Unlike narcissists, they have a capacity to feel empathy, sometimes deeply. They can be moved to tears by the plight of others (despite lacking empathy for you during their splitting/devaluing episodes), they can be deeply caring, genuinely kind, compassionate, loving, and are filled with passion. Their euphoric highs are addictive and contagious, just as (unfortunately) their lows.

I think this is what keeps us so hooked to them. They create this intense trauma-bond that feels nearly impossible to break with their repeated cycles of amazing treatment/love-bombing and abuse, but when they're good, they seem really good. And the goodness, unlike narcissists, is oftentimes genuine, raw, and kind. You see this incredible person with a huge heart who is suffering beneath all this psychotically infuriating behavior, and ultimately, you want so badly to love them without your love and compassion burning your entire life down to ashes.

It's a drug more alluring than heroin. A recipe for heartbreak and disaster.

This is what keeps me so helplessly addicted.