I'm sorry for acting crazy

I messaged you for 4 months, repeatedly. Pleading, begging, and hoping you'd come back in my life. I tried to let you go repeatedly but I couldn't. I tried to not think of you, of us but I couldn't. The very thought of us not being together terrified me, scared me. You blocked me and yet I found ways to contact you. I couldn't stop. I don't know why I couldn't stop. You told me to leave you alone, you told me you want me out of your life, but I couldn't stop trying to convince you to give us another chance.

If I could have just, just given you space and been in less panic than before. If I could have just, controlled myself a bit more, then maybe you'd have come back. I absolutely ruined any chance we had of being together again. My anxiety ruined everything.

I was being selfish in those messages, I didn't think of how they would have affected you. I was so blind. I just wanted us back, I believed you'd love me and just wanted us back. I hope you still think of me. I hope you don't hate me.

But now I realise that I was being selfish. I should have thought of your mental well-being, your new job and how all these constant messages must be affecting you. I'm sorry, I was just blinded by that fear of losing you, it's not an excuse I just truly regret it. I should have respected your boundaries.

But now, now it's never too late. I'll leave you alone, I'll leave you be. I'll respect you now because I care about you.

It's probably too late for us, and honestly, you deserve better than someone who was immature and couldn't respect your boundaries.

But still...I'll wait. Patiently, from afar, I'll wait and hope. Hope that somewhere deep down you still care about me enough to at least reach out and talk to me. Maybe...one day we can be friends and laugh about this in a coffee shop somewhere and joke about how dramatic I was.

If you're reading this, I truly am sorry to have not respected your boundaries. I wish you the best ahead in life.