Im so tired of people speaking on trans medicine for kids.

To a certain extent I get it, but at this point it's just ridiculous. If these people maybe, just maybe, would have acually talked to a trans teen for once in there lives maybe they would acually see how beneficial it is. "But hormone blockers and hormone are damaging!" Maybe they are, but you know what's even more damaging? Dying. Unpopular opinion but I think suicide has more negative effects than hormones. Gender dysphoria has led me to attempt suicide 2 times, and because of that I have some acual permanent mental and physical side effects. The medicine I have to take for my mental issues literally has more side effects than hormones. The medicine I have to take damages your brain in the very long run and that could be avoided if I would just be accepted. "Why can't you just wait untill your 18 and be a kid" I'm sorry, could you have waited till your 18 to choose your race, disability, familly, etc? I can't exactly choose when to realize something I was quite literally born with. Also what kind of childhood is it were you want to kill yourself every second? It sucks. Everything sucks. Gender dysphoria prevents me from eating, from doing good in school, talk to friends, have a good relationship with my parents, etc. What type of childhood is that? These are the effects of NOT getting the care that you need. I'm ruining the relationships with people around me. My chances of getting into collage. My chances of going out on my own someday and not feeling nervous to even walk. And this could all be fixed, even if just somewhat. I'm not asking for surgeries, or to jurrassically change everything. All I want is at least hormone blockers. And if possible testosterone and I could even go sleath for as long as possible if it embarrasses you so much. I just can't live like this anymore. Why can't people see the acuall pain that this causes? Why do I need to live like this?