Bestie, single mama of 4 - life feels so cruel

I just can’t stop crying. One of my best friends, our kids grew up together, passed from a hemorrhagic stroke last Tuesday. The stroke happened Christmas Eve. I went to the hospital every day to be with her kids and family and we all prayed for a miracle. She was only 42.

She passed and I felt numb. I have had my own loss last year and didn’t think I had any more tears left. But as I helped her children with their gofundme requests this morning I have just been bawling my eyes out and I can’t stop. Seeing all of the photos of our kids together. Remembering her adorable laugh, her infectious smile and her wild personality. Only 5ft tall that little lady was just full of joy. She always took care of her nephews and nieces and anyone else who needed help. One of the most caregiving people I have ever met.

When my 19 yr old son passed last year, everything was a fog. It was all black. At his funeral I looked up and saw Sarah and the kids and it was one of the only lights I remember from that time. She drove hours that day gathering the children from different cities just to make sure they were there for me during the darkest day of my life.

And now she’s gone. And it’s finally hitting me. Even though I was there in the hospital when they took her off of life support as she transitioned it didn’t hit me. But today - today I am in full force grief. This is just my cry into the void. Sharing her photos and her beautiful self helps.

Farewell Sarah. Hug Pan for me. I expect you both to be waiting for me on the other side 🥹🙏🏽🕯️❤️🕊️