Husband is top specialised surgeon in large hospital..

Highly stressful job, yadda yadda yadda. Specialty where plenty of patients die so just an awful stressful situation plenty of times at work…

I’m a SAHM (was a nurse)

We have a 2 and 4 year old

Some days he cooks dinner and will (if asked) take the kids from me for 30 min so I can have an alone break.

I give him LOTS of breaks . He needs them as I can see he gets overwhelmed.

He’s a great and invested dad but I do way, wayyyy more of the parenting when he’s at home and I carry the entire mental load.

I’ve been with the kids all day and an hour after he got home I asked for a ten minute break. He said no .. that he’s stressed.. he’s not coping emotionally etc so he can’t take the kids and I need to ask my mother or his mother on the days when he “can’t” give me a break.,,

He has been diagnosed with Generalised Anxiety Disorder and I believe he deg finitely undiagnosed autism

To what extent is it reasonable to expect me to do ALL the parenting on some days? I believe he needs more “grace” than a non medical person.. I believe his job is exhausting … but what about my