I'm honestly so unlikeable and I don't know how to feel about it.
I'm probably one of the most annoying people ever, now that I think about it.
Constantly talk about my mains and how highly I think of them + how fun they are, but annoyingly so. I talk about other things, but once we get on the topic of my main I geek out too much.
I will get mad about losing to "cheap" tactics, which would be fine if I didn't freaking go in discord and reddit just to rant about it for a solid 10 minutes. Sometimes I will even give a backhanded insult to the player of said main which is admittedly uncalled for and ridiculous.
I will spend so much time studying VODs and practicing that you'd think I was a top player getting ready for a super major... but no I'm just a scrub who doesn't even have a 50% winrate yet.
I'm honestly so ashamed to be a player. I always wonder why I get mocked and I see why. I'm just that loud mouth jerk who wishes he was worth something.
And honestly I can't be too proud of my "good" tournament runs anyway. A lot of them were in brackets that bans top players... so is it really a legitimate win? Is it really that cool if I don't take down someone with high status or merit? I can't go around saying "I am so good I won a 40% winrate capped tournament." Like that sounds lame as hell.
Idk even after I perform good for my standards I don't feel as proud because my standards are surprisingly low.