I tried

I tried, I really did. I tried to get help, but my fucking anxiety makes me freeze up and, I just cant. And then I tried to kill myself. I want to get help. No, I NEED TO GET HELP. You wonder why I don't listen, my fucking anxiety makes me all scared and not do it. So I guess killing myself seems like the only option, but I really want to do it, but I don't want to cause pain to this sub. Doesn't help I'm going insane. I'm seeing this shadow demon named shade(take a guess why he's named that)and I'm hearing noises. I'm still getting bullied, but now for what I like, I can't even be myself, I try to act like someone else. Another reason to kill myself, I need mental help, like therapy or a doctor. :( I want to bang my head on a wall.