got cheated on and i no longer want to get married in general

hello everyone. I (25F) was cheated on by my ex (29M). We were together for a year and 7 months. I found out early November 2024. He had been cheating on me since May 2024. He had at least 6 different hookups. He invited them over to our old place and was planning on having more people over the day after I found out. Safe to say, he did not. I have the whole thing mapped out from a previous post I tried to make on a different subreddit (to no avail). I will definitely post that if needed. Basically, he claimed he cheated on me because he was addicted to poppers and liked sucking dick while on them. He claimed to have an addiction. (I believe he is addicted to sex, but he was saying it was the poppers.) At least 6 men. Then a married woman who looked like she was on crack. All the while lying to my face multiple times that he wasn't cheating on me and loved me and loved my body and thought I was hot and talented and and and. Blah. He then admitted he only loved the way I made him feel. He said he was never going to tell me.

There is so, so much more to this. I don't want to make a long post and have it denied again. That hurts. Anyway, after all of that, I am still so heartbroken. I've been cheated on before, but this one is different. I know it hasn't been that long since it's happened, but I did not feel like this with my other exes. This was my third and shortest relationship. My whole life, I've wanted to get married. I have always wanted to share my life with someone. I have so much love in my heart. I have so much understanding and forgiveness. This experience has turned me off of marriage forever. It's a miracle I wanted to be in ANY relationship after witnessing my parents' terrible separation and divorce (DV and cheating). Now I'm here wondering if it's worth it to keep getting embarrassed by these men. How am I supposed to trust anyone to not make me start over after locking into marriage? After my last ex (dated in 2019-2021), I knew I still wanted to be in a relationship/get married. The fallout from that breakup was ROUGH, but I still had hope for the future. This most recent ex was a different breed though. Maybe I'm just dumb. I didn't think he would cheat so early on. I saw signs of his disinterest--or declining interest--but chose to write them off as I had been vocal about my trust issues early on and was working through them. :| Guys... I should've listened to myself. Lol. Gotta laugh or I'll cry.

(side note: his best friend is a passport bro and he talked mad shit about him hoeing about, yet... did that. I genuinely don't think I'm dumb, but I wish I hadn't been so trusting of this man. Damn his BFF to hell though. Just trust me on that.)

So much to write. I will answer questions and give updates if need be. I am in tears again.