my breasts have ruined my life

i have a breast deformity called tuberous breasts. it’s very obvious on me and mine resembles more the wikipedia page picture rather than some of the more mild cases. i was so happy because i finally found a surgeon and he was everything i wanted in surgeon. he was caring and very meticulous with his practice. however i recently had a diagnosis confirmed of ehlers danlos syndrome which is a connective tissue disorder (which could’ve caused my tuberous breasts). since ehlers danlos can affect blood vessels, my surgeon told me he couldn’t do the surgery anymore. but i don’t have the vascular type of EDS, i have the hyper mobile type which means i have more lax joints and connective tissue. i got cardiology work done and everything was normal. and my EDS is pretty mild with me having shoulder surgery before for hitting my arm really hard and dislocating it and tearing the cartilage. my joints don’t pop out on their own and my wound has healed pretty well.

i’m not saying that the surgeon is invalid for making his choice because he doesn’t want to take on a more risky surgery but i just feel horrible. all i want to do is curl into a ball and cry. all my life i just wanted to be normal. i don’t even feel like a real woman most of the time. i don’t feel confident or look good in any clothes. bras don’t fit me. i don’t think anyone will truly be able to love me or be attracted to me this way. i can’t take it, i ask God why me so many times. i don’t know why i had to be this way out of everyone. i’m so tired