Tamlin and the High Lady issue...

Apparently a lot of people are mad at tamlin for not considering making feyre a high lady. i don't really understand this since first of all, it's really just a title and as we see in later books, quiet meaningless. it's not the equal to a high lord so idk why "consort" isn't good enough. another point is this "tamlin doesn't see her equal" debate. are we forgetting that she is a literal 20 year old compared to him being 500+? they can never be truly equal. also she is the one saying she doesn't want people to call her high lady, she is the one not wanting a crown from tamlin. she is the one who is super uncomfortable with being the center of attention due to being the curse breaker. she is the one giving a flying fuck about tamlin's long time friends and allies, she doesn't want to talk to them, she doesn't bother to remember their names and she doesn't want to spend time with them. she is grateful for ianthe taking her out of any social situation and for her making so many decisions about the wedding so feyre doesn't have to. she also expresses that she pities tamlin for carrying so much responsibility and having to do all these court things like the tithe. so obviously she has zero interest in being involved in the life at court and making political decisions, being responsible or even talking to people and allies...to me that doesn't seem like someone who wants or should be high lady. so how is that tamlin's fault for not making her one?