Who was right here?

Context: a comment on youtube about how words hurt got a reply from someone dissagreeing. Another commenter said "Saying something needlessly cruel =/= coddling." The commenter proceeded to say:

How is it not coddling to refrain to say something because someone's nerves are made of paper mache and they'd be genuinely hurt over words from a complete stranger? The logic simply does not check out. You are being overprotective of someone who is immature and preventing them from growing up. That is coddling by definition. This is similar to telling a kid that their pet got taken to a farm instead of telling them it's dead; Except the kid is a kid and you guys are grown adults. You should have known better than to let shallow mockery and negative words affect you by this point.

i replied: My biggest confusion on your talking point is what you define as cruel. If you know something will be insulting, why say it? If you know words will hurt someone, why say them? There's a difference between sanitizing everything in fear someone's feelings will get mildly hurt, vs. insulting someone because you think they shouldn't care about words. If you know someone is in a rough spot and may take words to heart more than usual, would you not have empathy for their situation and treat them accordingly? Wouldn't you hope others would treat you the same, if you were depressed?

Their last comment was: When you consider that for most people nowadays telling the truth is being rude, you start seeing where i'm coming from. We live in a society kept togueter by lies and masks. Honesty is not appreciated. I merely state that one should not need to hold their tongue because of others, nor should someone care for negativity coming from strangers. Your mental health is not anyone else's responsibility; If you can't handle the heat, get out of the kitchen. It may vary with context, but in general i would indeed sooner blame someone for getting upset than the person who said something that upset them, since getting genuinely affected by negativity from strangers is a simply a mental skill issue.