Pls end me

Ive been crying everyday for a month now. I have never cried that much since i was a baby. Im 37yo. Im not ok. I think about death constantly. If i had a gun i would have ended it by now. Pls put me down

there was a misunderstanding among my 2 best friends and then things spiraled out of control so fast, and i said things i shouldnt and hurt both of them now neither will talk to me and they no longer want to be my friend. i lost my mind and went out of control.

i hate myself and so full of regret and guilt I just cant bare it anymore.