Was this avoidable?

I'm at that point about three months after a relapse that always kind of get the itch and get down. And what's going through my mind currently is if I had just not made it such a habit could I have gone down a different path and been moderate? I was never really moderate and always loved drinking wine. But if I didn't turn it into physically addicted- morning to night or else I withdrawl. Like 2 years ago could I have reeled myself in and still enjoy it? Idk I'm down I don't feel normal.