Miss him so much

We said goodnight one final time two days ago and I am completely bereft.

He was very nearly 14 and was the one constant in my life as I went through some tumultuous times. He got me through them all and into the best place I could ever have imagined.

Saying goodbye was the greatest kindness I could bestow upon him, and I know it's a cliche, but i genuinely believe he was ready and relaxed, fully prepared for a very well earned rest.

He was my shadow, my friend, my bestest boy and simply perfect.

I want to feel better, but don't want to feel better because I never want to diminish how important he was.

He couldn't have loved or been loved more.

A while ago I started doing silly daily posts of his life on instagram and whilst still heartbreaking, seeing him being nothing other than himself brings such joy and I will be eternally grateful when the daily memories pop up on my phone.

I know I am not alone in my grief as sadly many, too many others are grieving today for their own personal losses, but I just wanted to say that I feel and share your pain and that hopefully time can help us all grieve and come to terms with it all.

I am so grateful to have shared 14 perfect years with Brian.

Goodnight my boy, sleep tight xx