Being fat in college sucks

I (20F) am a third year college student at Ohio State University. I developed binge eating disorder and depression my junior year of high school and have been 200+ lbs since senior year. For reference I’m 5’5. (And before you say it, please don’t tell me to diet. Don’t you think I’ve tried? Binge eating disorder makes it extremely difficult for me to maintain a diet)

I haven’t enjoyed my college experience. Being fat feels like a huge disadvantage and I feel it has made it harder to make friends. Last year I tried making friends with my apartment neighbors (a couple of college guys) but one day overheard one of them say “how do I politely say ‘tell your roommate to come over, she’s hot’” (my roommate at the time was a very pretty and super social girl, and they had my number but not hers). The other responded “if you want the roommate over you have to invite the fat one too”

I cried for a very long time after that. People generally are mean or ignore you completely. Not only that, I feel there are so many things on campus that just reinforce the idea that I won’t be accepted. Here are just a few examples:

1. I fucking hate lectures in auditoriums with those seats that have the side desks that you have to pull up and pull down across your lap. I want to die of embarrassment every time the desktop won’t go all the way down because my stomach is in the way. 
2. Most clothing stores around campus are not plus size friendly. The sizes of clothes in most of the close to campus shops and cute boutiques only go up to large.
3. Some sororities are blatantly discriminatory against overweight/fat girls because it “hurts their image as a sexy sorority”

I also hate how much I sweat when it’s hot out because I feel disgusting and that people judge me for it. I’m constantly envious of all the skinny, pretty girls I see on campus all day long. I can recognize though that college culture is not the only contributor to my feelings, and that my depression and insecurities are the major factor.

I know it’s vain but is it so wrong that I just want to feel pretty? That I want to feel accepted? It crushes me everyday thinking that I could be so much happier if I was just skinny. I wish I didn’t crave the approval of others so much

TL;DR: People are mean or ignore you completely, it’s harder to make friends, and I’m constantly envious of skinny girls. I need to work on my depression and insecurities if I want to be happy.