Day 12 CT, I feel incredible and so proud

Long story short, most of last year i spend trying to quit. usually just not using for couple od days, going through WD and then slowly started using again always adding another day in a week with some dumb excuse. eventually after couple of weeks i was back at daily using. then quitting again. it was a vicious cycle. i wasn’t able to go more than 5 days without it when being at home and 8 days was maximum when i was at vacation and didn’t bring any. And now i’m at 12 DAYS COMPLETELY CLEAN. i’m so fucking proud and happy. i know it will still be long a road but everyday i’m in shock and awe that i managed it. this is the longest i have been without it for the past 2 years. crazy. Luckily over fall i managed the using at the verge of mild WD, so when i quit after new years i didn’t have to go through the worst like many times before. i had light sleep, and some anxiety but nothing terrible. Mostly just extreme cravings. after 4 days i was hit with enormous wave of happiness ( i guess the fact that my body finally was free from this substance) which lasted for days. i could finally be myself again. didn’t even think about kratom. then day 9-10 was horrible. i had again these impulsive cravings. i almost slipped. my brain was making excuses and everything. but i made it through and didn’t. before i would just buy it. i’m really proud of myself. finally. i have been disappointed the whole last year.