How do you deal with guilt after going NC?

I was raised to feel guilty and responsible for everyone. I had to go NC with parents(ndad and emom), nsister and Ngrandma. Because they are a unit. And now my grandma keeps calling. Non stop. I was always told " smile pretty for granny, she may get sick. She is old" when I was born she was 50. And she is in her 90' now. And healthy as possible.

I was threatened by ndad all my life to pretend all is ok infront of her. When my nsister attacked me and told me she will kill me they all gaslit me and told me it was not a big deal. My grandma leading the gaslighting.

My family is well of so I was given an apartament. But I never asked for money. I work and am independant. I kept trying to make it work. But I have no energy left.

A week ago I went NC after Ndad cornered me and kept pestering me about gray rocking. And telling me I am ungratefull. I feel so bad but I can't talk to them anymore. He waited till I was completely down because we have a hard time at work and insted of supporting me he added to my suffering.