Teachers/Paras, what do you want parents to say when you give a negative report about their child?

Background: My kid has struggled with behavioral issues at school since 4k (currently 3rd grade). He has disabilities that affect his academics as well, but the biggest issues have always come from his violent outbursts. We've done all the things you would expect - psych visits, parent/child therapy, play therapy, occupational therapy, diet, exercise, FBA, BIP, etc. At home I can manage him, because I can address the issues as they're happening, but I've been essentially unable to affect his school behavior by anything I do at home (the exception is that I can make it worse with anything that increases his general anxiety such as punishments).

His current IEP has him on a shortened school day with a 1:1 aide, so I go into the front office to pick him up and the 1:1 aide brings him to me. Last semester he had a consistent aide who generally reported positively or gave negative updates in a matter of fact tone that felt like an FYI with a "we'll do better tomorrow" at the end. She has since been promoted to a new position, so now my child has a variety of aides depending on whoever is available.

More than one of the current aides will bring him out and give me a really long emotional description of all of his negative behaviors from the day. I have no idea how to respond. "Ok" seems like it doesn't empathize enough with how difficult their day was, but also my kid is standing right there and hearing them report on his negative behaviors is one of his triggers, so being empathetic to the aide seems like it would make matters worse. I can't make them any promises of change like I might if it were my own behavior being criticized, because I obviously can't control my child's behavior at school or I would have done it a long time ago. Lecturing him in front of them seems like maybe what's expected? I don't really want to do that either, though, because it's not effective and seems to just extend his bad school day into a bad day at home without having any positive effects on his school behavior. I don't know. I'm at a loss for how to handle these scenarios.

Has anyone here been on the other side of this situation who can give me a better idea of what the aide is expecting from me? Or does anyone have advice for how I can respond to the aide's distress kindly without also making things more difficult for my child?

Please be kind. I'm doing my best. Thank you.