Nightmare Ex-wife. Need advice.

My boyfriend’s ex-wife is a nightmare and I really don’t know how to deal with this situation.

For example, their custody agreement says she can only write my boyfriend between 8 am and 5 pm, unless it’s an emergency. She will start sending messages at 5 am, and will even send messages late a night - think 11 pm, even 1 am. These messages are not emergencies. For example, she will do a photo dump at 1 am because she’s “deleting albums” from her phone. She writes him every day, all day. She will find any excuse to send him a message.

In violation of their agreement, she will schedule things for their child during my boyfriend’s time. He will acquiesce sometimes to keep the peace. However, she will change the plans like 5 times, change the drop off time, and then keep their child away from my boyfriend because my boyfriend is not at home during the new same day change in drop off. The events she schedules always result to be a lie, and then it turns out she has plans during her time so it’s all a deliberate manipulation from her so that my boyfriend will “make up” his lost time with his child when she’s busy and has no one to help her.

I think the worst thing is lately she’s been trying to turn their child against me. We have a great relationship- I’ll read them bedtime stories, play with them, help with homework. The child always wants to be with me, asks when they’re seeing me, etc. Last time I stayed with them, we were having a blast - until their mom called. My boyfriend and I don’t know what his ex-wife said to the kid, but they did a complete 180. Started yelling at me and hitting me, saying they wanted me to leave, but when I was about to go asking me to stay. It’s been a rollercoaster.

My boyfriend is often very tense because she just doesn’t stop. Just to add, she initiated the divorce. They’ve been divorced for over two years, and I’m not his first relationship after the divorce. There was no infidelity, and he didn’t leave her for me. So I don’t understand her behavior. Also to add. She gives 0 fucks about their kid. She admitted she has no bond with their kid, and is always dumping the kid with anyone she can find. She also has this poor six year old child in six extra-curricular activities. The kid cries often because they don’t get to see their mom. My boyfriend pays a ton in child support, about $5k, and she works. So, I’m really having a hard time seeing what her deal is.

I’m really lost here. My boyfriend is always tense and it’s not so easy as to tell him “don’t pay any attention to her” because she uses the kid as ammo. Any advice is appreciated.