Organic Grass-Fed Free Range Humans

Our humans are bred, grown, and slaughtered on site to provide you, our customer, with the highest quality meat money can buy! Some of our finest cuts of meat include the shank, the loin, and the oh so delicious ribs.

Rest assured our humans are selectively bred for docile traits. Given a few minutes of sunlight in our 10ft fenced pastures. Regular antibiotics to prevent those pesky epidemics. And growth hormone because humans are slow growers.

Don’t worry these humans have no capacity for thought. They’re just stupid animals. After all they can’t speak!

We also have breast milk! fresh from the momma’s birth. If it’s a baby boy we’ll just send him to the slaughterhouse. If it’s a baby girl we’ll grow her until she’s at child bearing age, forcefully breed her, rip out the baby cesarean style if need be and then collect her meat.

(Crazy how making this type of simile to the animal agriculture industry still doesn’t penetrate omnivores and carnivores)